


Pairing Note

by Animerulzs1267



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Comedy, Fluff and Crack, Like Death Note but with Crack, M/M, Multiple Pairings, Pairing Note, Randomness, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Yaoi, Yaoi Fan Trio, friends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-01-14
Packaged: 2018-03-07 12:30:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3173804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Animerulzs1267/pseuds/Animerulzs1267
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Yaoi Fan Trio are at it again. Francis has found the Pairing Note, a legendary notebook that can make your OTP come to life. That means their day got better. That means yaoi in their eyes. That means watching couples doing certain things... That means no one is safe from them. But when Francis gets jealous, what will happened to the team? Rated T, HunPanFra, USUK, SuFin</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pairing Note

Pairing Note

Today was such a peaceful, lackadaisical day for our heroes Elizabeta and Kiku. Beyond outside of their apartment was where the sun gleamed yellow beams of healthy sunshine, skies shone neat shades of blue and just down below where sides were reasonably filled with people taking strolls or having conversations with friends and family instead of their phones felt like the good ol' days. Back when days were simple and technology wasn't taking over the universe. However... Kiku and Elizabeta, who needed that sunshine and outside air, spent their morning since six o'clock watching a famous yaoi TV show which got green lit to show on mornings.

Eyes glued and aching from the electric statics of the screen, Kiku and Elizabeta refused to step outside for they were in that really good scene where their OTP were at the brink of confessing their love which took, like, four seasons to do! It was better staying inside instead of going outside and observe couples—only the yaoi ones—with binoculars and notebooks and cameras, because they had a romantic sitcom being played now.

Despite this, both of them wished they could witness scenes of public affection between two men in life. It didn't have to be explicit, they only wished to bask in glory and passion to a couple…if only they could.

Out of nowhere they heard a door open and slammed itself with footsteps racing to the living room. But the two were still watching the screen like little children.

"Friends, look what I just purchased!" Francis squealed happily as he took out a red notebook from his bag.

Kiku hesitated to look but he took one glance of his dried eyes and witnessed Francis holding what could be a legit Ship Note... Right away Kiku jumped to his feet, raced to Francis, snatched the notebook and examined it carefully. Kiku thought this was just a myth, the notebook. And yet this was so real, almost too real.

"Francis, do you know what you just got?"

"Of course! Is this the legit one, Kiku?" Francis asked eagerly, trying his best in snatching the notebook but Kiku moved away to get Elizabeta's attention.

"It just might be! Eliza, please stop watching that show!" Kiku pestered hurryingly, rocking his hand on her shoulder.

"But they're getting close to kiss!" argued Elizabeta, eyes till on the screen.

"Do you wish to see real people finally falling in love or do you wish to see fake characters on TV?" Kiku asked suddenly and hoped it would steal her vote.

Elizabeta turned her head over to Kiku and he smiled in relief. "How are we going to get the pairings we like to get together now?" Her eyebrows raised, nostrils flared from perverted thoughts and smiling gleefully.

"Remember weeks ago when we were talking about myths and legends?" Kiku asked. He moved to the sofa and sat down to get comfortable. Elizabeta and Francis sat on the ground and felt eager to hear Kiku speak about the legend of the Shipping Note. Besides the TV moaning sexual noises, Kiku cleared his throat and spoke of the legend, "It all started long ago when great fans alike united as one to forge the great Shipping Note. Lifetimes before there were great wars about OTPS and people with valid and invalid arguments-but all knew their OTPs were dying through terrible times.

Francis gasped dramatically, Elizabeta held his hand for assurance as Kiku continued.

"Then, a true fan, who refused battling with others because it was pointless, discovered a notebook from a legendary mountain known as... Mount TOP. But everyone assumed that mountain was a legend, as well as the Shipping Note. Yet this book" he touched the red surface with his fingertips "this book had the key to solve problems far and wide. All gathered round to use its powers for their uses, and we all know that with absolute power corrupts absolutely.

"So the first owner hid it where no one could ever find it…until, possibly, now." Kiku took his wistful gaze to Francis and asked, "How did you find it?"

"I bought it from some stranger," said Francis. "The girl had red streaks, glasses and had brunette hair. She was telling me all these weird things but I just bought it and she left."

Was he serious? A stranger, possibly a person trying to trick the naïve Francis, gave him what could be a fake notebook and left without questions. Nonetheless, Kiku stared at the book with anticipation of its uses. A book that can pair your OTP whenever you want or do whatever your sick mind (no offense) wished. But was that person who sold it to be trusted? Kiku wondered idly and had to test it out for his friends and himself.

"I will go and test this by putting the one OTP we all love the most…" Kiku said, taking the book to his chest and heaved a sigh. "We shall finally say 'CANON'—" Elizabeta and Francis jerked in alarm "pardon, I should have not yelled—to USUK!"

"Yay!" Elizabeta and Francis cheered in unison, fists up in the air, getting up and parading around the living room.

"Friends, let us not get our hopes up yet!" Kiku suddenly said and saw Elizabeta holding herself to listen whilst Francis ignored them to get his things. "First, let us see if it works…"

Elizabeta quickly knew what Kiku wanted, raced off to her room and back with a pen in hand. Meanwhile, Francis was packing a suitcase full of essentials needed for their amazing trip: cameras, art books, notebooks for fanfiction and all the good stuff. Coming back and seeing Kiku and Elizabeta waiting impatiently for him he quickly subsided his suitcase on the kitchen counter and got behind the couch next to Elizabeta. The two above peered like vultures hungry of prey, and Kiku must deliver the possible outcome of whether they shall see a couple come together…

Kiku took the front cover, opened it, saw the yellow pages untouched by pen markings, used his black pen and wrote 'SuFin'.

"Berwald and Tino?" Franics asked. "Why are we doing them?"

"Because," Kiku said, "our room is here, obviously, and outside where we have a straight clear view is Tino's apartment. Hopefully the curtains are drawn and we may see if it is true or not."

In a flash, all three dashed forward to their window, drew the curtains carefully and stared at the thankfully opened window where Tino was seen reading a book in his living room. In view they saw Berwald walking over and the three swallowed together in hopes of the legendary notebook being true…

XxXxXxX

"Berwald, is something the matter?" Tino asked, sounding concern for his husband staring down at him. What was wrong this time, he wondered.

"Tino…I want us to kiss," Berwald answered bluntly. Tino flustered shyly and was muttering this and that like a nervous child, but Berwald's hands touched Tino's shoulders, Berwald brought himself face first forward and gave him a slow but passionate kiss…

XxXxXxX

"Oh…my…god…"

"It worked…"

"We…"

All three looked down at the red Pairing Note…

"Have power." Kiku finished…

All to themselves, they shared sinister smiles and gleaming yaoi-loving eyes…

XxXxXxX

Alfred, who hated his job more than anyone in the whole world, was making the damn bed. His nose scrunched antipathy. Why was he given such a boring job? Arthur just had to decide who had what job—Arthur had the best since he was cleaning windows—and Alfred had to change the bed sheets since he forgotten to do it last time. Having the same sheets for more than four weeks was totally normal for Alfred, but not Arthur who had to get his way into everything.

Pulling the white sheets off strenuously, Alfred muttered how he hated his position and was getting ready for the pillows when he felt a tap on the shoulder. Turning his head, he saw Arthur who was…acting stranger than usual. His cheeks were flustered with pink, his lime green eyes glanced around and up to Alfred and looked quite cute…

"Yeah, what's up?" Alfred asked in a cheerful tone. He didn't want Arthur pissed off again.

"Alfred…" Arthur sounded hesitant and then he placed his hands on Alfred's chest. "I really…w-want you."

Alfred's mind couldn't process this new information so he said, "… Huh?" A baffled face and confusion in his emotions were the least of his problems when Arthur out of nowhere pushed him on top of the sheet-less bed and dominated him.

"I really want you…" breathed Arthur hotly who began undoing his buttons for Alfred.

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh…." Alfred knew Arthur was a pervert, but never like this! "Wait-wait, why? Why now? Shouldn't we-?" Arthur pushed his lips forcefully on Alfred's and moans vibrated in his throat.

Screw the bed sheets, thought Alfred. He took Arthur by the shoulders, did a spin around the bed and dominated Arthur who looked so sexy under him—but he always looked sexy no matter what position he was on.

"Alfred, please take me…" Arthur muttered to him. Alfred gave him a deep, tongue tying kiss and began pulling Arthur's shorts off.

XxXxXxX

"THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER!" Elizabeta cried joyfully, kissing the Pairing Note like a lover after a departing reunion.

"Thank god whoever gave us that notebook!" Francis chided blissfully as his eyes focused on the quick-paced love the two a floor below across the apartment were doing. "That girl is a goddess!"

Kiku was too busy sketching beautiful artwork and possibly new characters for his next issue to say anything.

"Guys, tell me when it gets juicy," Elizabeta called out, putting the notebook down on the coffee table, "I'm making popcorn."

"Oui, mon ami!" Francis glanced behind him and noticed the notebook…

In the contempt for discovering the jubilant book that could change lives, Francis felt thoughts…selfish thoughts for himself.

"Uh, Kiku, mon ami?"

"Yes?"

"What were to happen if…you had this notebook and you can pair yourself with whoever you wanted?" Francis asked, he hoped he wasn't too suspicious with the question.

However he was, and Kiku caught the question quickly. "Francis, I understand the struggle of wanting to be in a ship when you know the latter will be upset. I understand honestly and should suggest you shouldn't do anything rash. What you do—which you know it's rash—shouldn't be taken as the first resolve, it should…" Kiku ran out of intelligent words to say but turned his head over only to see Francis scribbling down with a black pen on the Pairing Note. "YOU DID NOT PAY ATTENTION, DID YOU?" bellowed Kiku to the point of Francis jerking up—notebook in hand—and dashing off whilst Kiku dropped everything and chased after him impractically—they even ran around in circle like idiotic children who find that entertaining.

XxXxXxX

"Hmm?" Arthur suddenly hummed, looking up at the bare chested Alfred and revolted in disgust. "You're not Francis!" Arthur forcefully pushed the half-naked American away, grabbed a white blanket and raced off. "Francis, where are you?"

"Francis?" What the hell? Alfred began zipping his pants up and followed after the Brit. "Wait, where are you doing?"

XxXxXxX

Meanwhile, Elizabeta (who wasn't paying attention to the astronomical hunt) heard the microwave beep a squeaky beep, opened it and took out the bowl of fresh, buttery popcorn. "Guys, I made popcorn!" But when she turned around, Kiku and Francis were already on the ground in exhaustion.

Walking over, bowl in hand, she asked looking down confusingly, "What are you guys doing, we're gonna miss the good-"

BANG! 

"FRANCIS~~~~~!" cried a voice with ecstasy and thrill. "I missed you so much—"

Elizabeta dropped the bowl in horror, Kiku covered his eyes and Francis, unfathomed from his comrades raced to the naked Arthur. Let that burn your brain cells.

"WHY IS HE NAKED? I DON'T MIND, THOUGH!" Elizabeta screamed obtrusively.

Francis and Arthur were already in some sort of bizarre kissing scene on the floor, Kiku was horrified to the point of grabbing the notebook, taking his pen out from the floor before the run and was about to cross the pairing off when—

"ARTHUR, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Kiku's jaw dropped as well as Elizabeta who slowly looked up at the horribly awkward scene: Alfred standing half-naked in front of a sex-crazed Francis and Arthur getting down. It was like last time (We're Not Perverted) but this time Kiku knew all were not going to live this time.

"I'm gonna go get my repaired sword…" Elizabeta whispered to Kiku, backing away careful steps.

Kiku just thought screw this and raced off with Elizabeta, they slammed the door of her room and decided to hide in her messy closet.

"Elizabeta-san, why don't you clean here more?"

"Do you want to live or get killed like last—oh, wait, you weren't there that one time. Heh, kinda reminds me of the time we were watching Alfred and Arthur having sex—"

"My new chapter was my biggest hit…" Kiku said nostalgically.

"Yeah..." Francis said.

"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING!" Elizabeta snapped angrily, Francis whimpered sadly to himself. "Wait, since when did you get in here, that's just random."

"Uh...I got off of Arthur and came here... I think he's gonna find us in-"

BANG!

"CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY ARTHUR IS NAKED AND TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH FRANCIS?" Alfred bellowed so loudly the three friend's ears rung in agony as Arthur from behind was trying to reach out to Francis.

All three responded by screaming as Alfred loamed over at them with great evil around his soul.

XxXxXxX

"God damn it..." Elizabeta mumbled, "this is all your fault, Francis. Now you're in a full body cast again and Kiku threw the damn book away. What do you have to say for yourself?" Elizabeta turned her head, aching slightly, at the full-body casted Francis who glanced at her.

Being in the hospital like last time was tiring, and Kiku somehow escaped from getting his ass kicked by Alfred. Elizabeta only had a broken right leg and her left arm was in a cast and felt utterly pissed. However, Francis only babbled and muffled his answer which roughly translated...

"I have no regrets..."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this story! :)


End file.
